A Suitable Bride
by Vuirneen
Summary: Story Complete. Prequel to Book 2. Major Angst Warning: A young Raseleane finds herself engaged to marry a complete and total stranger.
1. A Suitable Chapter Title

Warning: Major angst ahead. This is not like any of my other stories.

_Italics_ are her thoughts. 

* * *

The view from the hotel window is dismal. Rain spatters the trees that encroach on the winding road to Draqueen. Raseleane can barely stand the sight, however the scene inside the room is scarcely better. She knows that her mother is still busily examining the dress, with the huge grin that hasn't left her face since word came from the castle requesting Raseleane's presence. Her jollity has slowly eroded all of Raseleane's forced cheer, since her fate was confirmed not a fortnight ago.

Finally she turns, the unending rain is not helping her depressed state and the first thing she sees is **that** dress, glorious on its mannequin and her mother scurrying around it, plumping ruffles, tucking here, straightening there and singing a nonsense as she does so.

"I think you care more for that dress than you do for anything else in this world."  
"Ah but dear, we have to show them that you're suitable. Everything has to be perfect, exquisite. This dress is an important part of that. We're not hicks from the backwater, every detail must be perfect." She turns to her daughter. "And you are suitable, don't ever worry about that. Didn't the Dragonlord himself send for you?"  
"I know."  
"How often do you think a girl is born with Dragoneyes?"  
"..."  
"I knew the moment you were born that you were destined to marry the Dragonlord and I've trained you well to prepare for it."

Raseleane turns away again.  
"And he knows this also?"  
"Of course, I sent a letter to the castle the day you were born."  
"So we've always been engaged to be married?"  
"Well, a little less certain than that. They had to be sure you wouldn't die of colic or something, or turn out unsuitable."  
"Then why did he never ask to meet me before?"  
"Whatever you do don't ask him that! You have to be respectful, a proper lady. I didn't raise an ungrateful child! He will be your lord and you must always act as though he is the centre of the universe. Men like that, no matter how important they are. You are beautiful, sophisticated, noble and delicate. He will adore you, never worry."  
As she speaks, the older woman starts to fuss around her daughter in a similar way to that spent on the dress. In addition to plumping, tugging and straightening her clothing, she also pokes Raseleane into a more suitable posture. 

_My mother lives in fear of the unsuitable. I've been preparing for my marriage since I was old enough to comprehend that I would have to sublimate all of my wants and desires for some shadowy male figure. I sometimes wish that I should prove to be unsuitable and have my own life for once. I think that mother would die of shame though, and she has trained me well. My needs are nothing compared to those of my future lord and h...husband._

"Are you hungry dear? I'll go and order some food to be brought up."  
"Let's both go downstairs, we can eat in the dining area with the other guests."  
"Raseleane!" Her mother is shocked at the suggestion. "You are the future queen of Draqueen, it's unthinkable that you eat with them. There are unsavoury types down there and we don't want any scandal or mishap. You stay here where it's safe. I'll be back soon." She leaves the room.

_She leaves me with **that **dress! Everywhere we go, I'm confined to my room, for fear of scandal, with **that** dress! She takes it out every night, in every hotel room, when it will only be packed away again once daylight comes, carefully and lovingly, in an attempt to foil the creases that always appear. I'm just another mannequin, another puppet to wear it. My job will end when I take it down the aisle and chain my future to his for all eternity. _

The dress is gorgeous. It glimmers sadly on its dummy, unaware of the misery its presence causes in the one destined to wear it. It's made of purest white, from silk and lace. Tiny pearls are beaded onto its surface and soft embroidery embosses flowers and dragons onto its surface. It's breathtaking and heartbreaking. Raseleane has only worn it once, for the first fitting. Ever since, her diet has been strictly controlled to ensure that she neither gains nor loses weight before her grand performance.

"If this were a happy occassion, you'd be the dress I'd long to wear. I remember my best friend's wedding. She got to marry someone she'd loved since she was a small girl and she looked so happy and beautiful. No matter how many pearls they string into my hair, I'll never be as beautiful as she was that day." Raseleane grasps the hem of the dress and sinks to the floor. As she falls, two tears fall onto the fabric and she buries her face in the cloth to hide the ones that follow.

"Raseleane!" Her mother has returned. "Get away from there, you'll crease the dress." Raseleane pulls away and turns to the window again. The sounds of her mother's fussing follow her as the raindrops on the glass outside mirror those on her face inside. 

* * *

Yes, it's short.  
No, it's not a one shot.  
Yes, I have a plot. Well, I have an ending and that's practically the same thing.  
No, it doesn't lighten up significantly.  
Yes, I know the things I have to build on, to get to the ending.  
No, I haven't decided whether or not to write the parts that are already covered in the manga. 


	2. Ominous Arrival

Warning: Major angst ahead. This is not like any of my other stories.

_Italics_ are her thoughts. 

* * *

The Dragon Castle lies just ahead of the carriage containing Raseleane, her mother and her dress. Her mother packed it away again, early this morning, eager to get to the Castle and check out her daughter's new home. Many screeches followed the porters as they hoisted the case into the carriage, who paid only lip service to her instructions. The late arrival of the escort from the Castle last night, had frayed her nerves already and she is now more jittery than a barrelful of bees that've been shaken steadily for five hours.

"Oh my nerves. I'll need a week to get over this." She looks out the window. "We're in the town at least, is the Castle ahead?"  
"I think we're nearly there mother." Raseleane spoke quietly. A feeling of unease had been growing in her stomach since she awoke and every thought of reaching the Castle, entering the Castle and meeting the Dragonlord sent it lurching in every wrong direction. _Please, please let it be over soon. Please let him be gone. I don't want to meet him, I'm not ready. Please, let it not feel like this forever._

Raseleane glances at the woman beside her. Her mother looks no older than her. Her hair is a midnight black and her skin glows (Raseleane's lips purse slightly) like a new bride. She displays the radiant young beauty and unhealthy hysteria usually associated with a high-society fiancée. The only signs of her true age are in the slightly dowdy and old-fashioned gown she is wearing and in her eyes. You can never disguise your eyes. _If only you'd been born with the Dragoneyes yourself. I bet you'd be ecstatic and you'd glow more brightly than I will. I wonder then, would **he** be my father, or would I be born at all?_

The carriage starts to rattle as the ground underneath changes from a dirt road, to the more elegant cobbles lining the drive to the Dragon Castle. Raseleane suppresses the desire to look out the carriage window and marvel at it. She prefers to wallow in the safety and anonymity of the carriage for as long as possible. Her mother nods approvingly at her. _It's probably unsuitable to be interested in the prison that you're going to spend the rest of your life contained in._

The carriage rattles on, until it comes to a stop before the main doors of the castle. Raseleane waits until her escort opens the door, before she leaves. Her mother follows closely behind. There is no-one there to greet them. The only people visible are those that travelled with Raseleane from the last hotel. Her eyes shift to examine her mother briefly before she leads the procession to the doors of the castle. The echo of their every movement is flung back at them in the empty entrance hall. Raseleane strides down the hall, her mother two steps behind her and everyone else hurrying after like small children. Halfway down the length of the hall, she spies a girl in uniform entering from a side door. Assuming that she's a maid, she stops the girl.

"Hello. My name is Raseleane and I have been invited to stay at the Dragon Castle. Could you show me to my rooms and then inform the Dragonlord that I have arrived as requested?"

The poor girl is a bit flustered, but is saved from speaking by the arrival of a dapper fellow. 

"Lady Raseleane I presume?"

He is immaculately attired. His shirt is cut a little low and gives off a casual sleaziness, but this impression is overwhelmed by the sheer presence of the man as well as his good looks. He has power and knows how to use it, but this power is tempered by a kind face and a soft expression held in his eyes. _Is this the Dragonlord? But I'd heard that he was blonde..._

"Yes, I am the Lady Raseleane and this is my mother, the Lady Wilhemina." Both women curtsey as their names are spoken. The gentleman bows in return to each.

"My name is Ruwalk. I am the Secretary of State and a close friend of the Dragonlord. He..."

"Ruwalk! What are you doing?"

Ruwalk is rudely interrupted by another man. This one's shirt is buttoned up to the neck and he looks very stiff and proper. He bears the same aura of authority, but has none of the calm and stillness of Ruwalk. His hair is brown and a large rat's tail swings out behind him as he runs to join his friend. His face is a bright red and he appears to be getting angrier.

"What are you wasting time on now? We need to find him and if I find out that you helped him escape..."  
"Alfeegi..."  
"That woman is going to arrive soon and he is supposed to be here to meet her. Why today of all days?"

Ruwalk is visibly cowed by this new arrival. _He must be of equal power to this one. Curious. I wouldn't have thought that he has the temperament for ruling._ He raises his hands to fend off Alfeegi, but the one that finally distracts him is Raseleane.

"So the Dragonlord is missing then?"

Alfeegi turns to her. His eyes are curious, but his anger still holds him. Ruwalk saves him from whatever embarrassment he was about to incur.

"Alfeegi, allow me to introduce the Lady Raseleane. She is the one that is to marry the Dragonlord."

Alfeegi's face empties immediately. His back stiffens and he offers her an awkward bow.

"Greetings Lady Raseleane. Um, welcome to the Dragon Castle, aha. I am Alfeegi. I am the Lord's Chief Secretary and White Dragon Officer."  
"Greetings Ser. Let me introduce my mother, the Lady Wilhemina."

Alfeegi's bow to her is even stiffer. 

"Alfeegi, I've never heard of the White Dragon Officer. What does that title mean?"

Alfeegi brushes aside her question.

"I'm sure that the Dragonlord will answer that for you when he arrives. "   
Ruwalk interrupts. "We expect him back very soon. He was quite eager to meet you."  
Alfeegi continues. "I'll inform the Castle's doctor that you're here and arrange an appointment for you with him."  
Ruwalk continues smoothly. "After I've shown you to your rooms and you've had a chance to recover from your journey, of course. You have travelled very far."

Raseleane's mother is the one to ask the awkward question. "See the doctor? I assure you that Raseleane is in perfect health."  
"It is just to confirm her suitability." Alfeegi doesn't notice the fire that flares in Raseleane's eyes but continues with a bit more thought, "of course, it's just a formality. Castle rules of succession. The examination will not take long or be unduly onerous. I assure you."  
_There's that word again. I can't even get away from it here! Alfeegi. I bet you deal with figures, not people. I hope you're a decent accountant, as your people skills are appalling._  
"I would like to rest." She looks to Ruwalk as she continues. "It is very kind of you to offer to show us personally to our rooms."  
"No trouble, I assure you."  
_At least there is one person here that knows how to hold a civilised conversation. At least I shall have someone to talk to. So, my future husband could is not here to meet me. I wonder if he ran away from home to avoid me. I felt like doing the same, so I suppose I can't blame him, but it does not feel nice._

Ruwalk leads Raseleane and Wilhemina away, talking of minor matters and seemingly unconcerned about the loss of the Dragonlord. Both ladies, however, notice Alfeegi's frantic flight, the minute they turn away from him. 

The rooms are in the south of the building, with a beautiful view of the expansive gardens. The two ladies have their own bedrooms, which lead into a large shared reception room. Raseleane's room is naturally larger than her mother's, and has a substantial dressing area attached to it. One of the wardrobes is filled with pretty gowns in Raseleane's size. All the colours of the rainbow are represented and all are in the latest styles. Wilhemina approves. Ruwalk shows off the features and waits until both are settled before absenting himself. Wilhemina watches him leave, while Raseleane takes in the view. The gardens are a rich collage of greens, while here and there a riot of colour appears from between the sheltering branches of the surrounding trees. _Many places to hide a Dragonlord in. I wonder how long it'll take to find him. At least I have some time to settle in._

"That Ruwalk is nice. A sweet fellow, very smooth and attractive. If I were a hundred years younger... I'll have to visit you lots."

Raseleane can't stop the sigh from escaping. Her mother hurries over and grabs her hand.

"I know it looks bad dear. We take ages to get here, your potential future husband isn't around, even though he knew exactly when we were going to arrive. There's no greeting party and something's...not quite right. If this were anyone else, I'd be taking you home tonight. But this is the Dragonlord. He is the best catch in the land. It doesn't get any better than this. Some thought was obviously put into our arrival. Look at the dresses in your wardrobe, they're gorgeous and I bet you that every one is a perfect fit. It'll get better. Everything will even out tomorrow, you'll see."  
"Mother..."  
"Raseleane, you have a duty." Her voice then softens. "Let's at least wait until tomorrow before we make any impressions. No matter what, this was going to be an awkward day." She runs her hand through her daughter's hair. "Get some rest. After, we can have a walk in the garden and take a look at the place." She laughs, "and you can help me pick out a toy boy."  
Raseleane smiles weakly. "How about Alfeegi?"

The small-talk continues as the two prepare for their rest. Wilhemina brushes her daughter's hair and stills her shaking hands.

"Lie down. You'll feel better."

She leads Raseleane to her bed and holds her like she did when she was little. Raseleane soaks it all up and starts to feel a little stronger.

"Mother?" 

A gentle snore emerges from Wilhemina. Raseleane fetches the blanket, covers the two of them and lies down again.

_She was so looking forward to all this. In a way I feel more sorry for her, as though her dreams are being trodden on. Still, this is only the first day, maybe tomorrow will be better. Very well then, tomorrow I will be the demure, sophisticated, attentive and beautiful Raseleane, future Queen of Draqueen. Tonight, I'll be simple Raseleane, and sleep beside my mother, for the last time._


	3. Voice of the Dragonlord

Warning: Major angst ahead. This is not like any of my other stories.

_Italics_ are her thoughts. 

* * *

The gardens are lovely and restful. They ease Raseleane's fears and for a while she can forget the turmoil surrounding her. Right now she's in a secluded glade. Trees and bushes shelter her and she feels as though she's cut off from the world, protected by these walls of green. Beyond are the true glories of the garden and the pride of the gardeners. Vivid vibrant colours vie with the exotic foliage of the flowers and plants that sweep through the grounds. Carefully sculptured ponds and landscaped rock gardens wait for her pleasure, but the seclusion of the clearing suits her now. The trees have cut the sound emanating from the Castle and she can imagine that she's truly in a forest, many miles away from everyone, alone and at peace.

Raseleane lies back on the grass, the aching sweetness of birdsong washing over her. _I doubt I'll be able to lie like this when I'm Mrs. Dragonlord. We're probably not allowed to waste time frivolously. Not that I've ever had that freedom._ She stares at the clouds overhead, passing by unhindered, changing form at will. _I wonder what it's like to be a cloud. They must see the entire world. Still, it's the wind that blows them. It chooses where they go. I wonder if it's lonely to be the wind._

A strange noise passes through the clearing. _ I wonder what that was! It sounded like some kind of animal._ The sound is repeated, then followed by the harsh mumble of raised voices. Raseleane waits for the voices to stop, so that she can resume her tranquillity, but the conversation continues. The illusion spoiled, Raseleane sits up on the grass and scowls for the first time in her young life. _That's so annoying! I can hear them, but the trees are masking the sound so I can't hear clearly._ She tries to ignore it, but one of the voices shouts suddenly and she recognises the owner. _It's that Alfeegi, the rude man I met earlier. I suppose I'd better stop thinking of him that way. After all, he's an important person here._ She stands up though, curious. _I wonder what he's saying, and who he's angry at._

She makes her way to the edge of the clearing and peers through the bushes. A large building is just beyond the copse. _I didn't realise the stables were so close. No wonder I could hear the conversation._ Raseleane gently and silently slinks through the trees until she can see the commotion more clearly. A group of men, some in uniform are surrounding a large animal which looks like a mini-dinosaur. Raseleane cocks her head. _**That's** a dragon? It looks a little like one, but I thought that dragons would be more impressive than that. I can't imagine any yokai being scared by it. It's more cute than terrifying and it looks a little dopey._

The conversation is now distinct, and Alfeegi is in full flow.

"...I can't believe you would be so inconsiderate. You were supposed to be here to meet her, she arrived yesterday and I've already made a bad impression!"  
"Calling her "that woman" to her face may not have been the best introduction, but I'm sure you'll be able to patch things up."

Raseleane can now see Ruwalk among the crowd. Unlike Alfeegi, who's got an exclusion zone around him and appears to be in danger of exploding, he has a resigned smile on his face. She still cannot, however, make out the person they're talking to. His back is to her and all she can see is the white of his cloak and his short blonde hair.

"The only thing in my favour is that you **may** have come off worse than me. She's the future queen of Draqueen and your **future wife**, yet she arrived to an empty castle, was found wandering the main hall, has been here an entire day and has **yet** to meet her future husband, the one she travelled so far to see. You've never met before, don't you think that you should have put in the effort?"

Raseleane doesn't know if the question was rhetorical or not, her heart stops as the blonde speaks. His voice is soft, yet reaches strongly to where she is hidden. 

"But everything's okay now. Ruwalk met her, she's settled in, one day isn't going to make that much of a difference. Besides, there were reports of a monster in the village of Dunai, I had to go see it."  
"**THAT** is why we have a trained army of Dragon Fighters! **THEY** investigate reports of monsters and take the appropriate action! **YOU** are supposed to stay in the castle and not get yourself killed doing something stupid!"

Alfeegi finally takes a breath and seems to calm down a little. He approaches the one he's shouting at, and when he next speaks, his voice is much softer.

"My lord, you have a duty to everyone on Dusis. If anything happened to you, the world would be in peril. Every time you leave the castle, we wonder if you'll be able to come back. You have to stop! No-one can fulfil your duties if you die."  
"Ruwalk..."  
"Ruwalk can fulfil the administrative burden of rule, but he cannot and can never maintain the shield around the Castle. Your mood affects the weather, your will keeps Dusis safe from yokai. Without you, we'd all die. There is no other."  
"Well, that's why I'm getting married isn't it? So that I can provide you with your heir and then I won't get any more of these lectures. I **am** the Dragonlord!"  
"My lord, until there is an heir, you will listen to each and every one of these lectures until you begin to act sensibly."

The group fall silent and Raseleane can see the white shoulders of the supposed Dragonlord shake. Ruwalk steps forward and places his arm on the lord's shoulder.

"Come on my lord. You need to freshen up. Your bride is waiting to meet you."

Raseleane watches the group leave and then emerges from the trees.

_So that's it then? I hold the key to his freedom. _ She laughs. _My freedom for his. I guess it's a fair trade._ She looks at the direction the group disappeared in. _So that's him. That's the one I'm going to marry. I don't feel any different. There's supposed to be a flash, a spark or something! Aren't I supposed to **know** that we're meant to be together? Maybe it'll happen when I see his face. Why didn't I go to him? Why don't I run up there now and turn him to face me? I heard his voice, why don't I want more? _She sighs. _ I should make my way back to the castle and get ready. But. He made me wait and I want to see the dragons. They can't be dragons, can they?_

Curious now, she approaches the stables and discards all thoughts of the Dragonlord. Every stall is oversized and instead of horses they hold more of those little dinosaurs. Raseleane reaches out to pet one and finds it friendly and placid.

"They're called darnas."

She swirls around. A tall man, dressed all in black is leaning against the wall. He looks slightly different to the others, it's hard to put your finger on, but the same sense of power emanates from him. He's more reserved and his clothes resemble the dragon fighters' uniform. _At a guess, I'd say he's security, or else a total bondage freak._

"We also call them riding dragons, though I'm not sure if they're actually related. Real dragons are far more impressive."

He walks over to Raseleane and reaches out to pet the darna she's standing beside. Although he doesn't smile, he radiates a warm solidity and Raseleane feels instantly comfortable. 

_I wonder how many more strange men are going to come out of the woodwork. Still, if they're as nice as Ruwalk and this guy, hmm, must ask for his name._

"I was wondering. These dragons don't look scary enough to frighten yokai. They're adorable though."

The stranger looks inquisitively at her.

"They're placid, but they don't spook easily. They're also strong and can be dangerous in the hands of a trained rider. That's why we don't have horses here. Darnas are far more suitable for fighting."  
"I know lots of knights with trained warhorses. They seem to do just fine."

The dark-haired man almost smiles.

"Okay then. Maybe the dragon connection is more important than I let on."

_ I like this guy._

"My name is Raseleane." 

As she says this, she offers her hand to the stranger. He's startled and takes it in his own before bowing and pressing his lips to it.

"Oh, my name is Tetheus. I'm one of the Dragon Officers and in charge of security. _Bingo!_ We're probably supposed to be introduced under more formal arrangements. I hope I've not been improper." He looks around. "Is no-one accompanying you? You should not be unescorted."  
"I thought that the Dragon Castle was one of the safest places in Dusis?"  
"It is, but you should still be prudent. The lord's shield keeps out yokai, but it doesn't work against evil humans or other dark creatures."  
_I hadn't thought of that._ "Then I'm lucky that I met you."

Tetheus bows again and Raseleane smiles.

"Now I'm curious though. I've never ridden a darna before. Do you think you could show me how?"  
"My lady? I'm not sure if..."

_Deploy eyelashes and girly voice number 3._

"Please?"

Two darnas are saddled and ready within minutes. Tetheus is really nervous, he doesn't want to be the one to break the Dragonqueen in her first week, but Raseleane knows how to ride and the darnas are _really_ placid. She soon gets bored of the stable yard and convinces Tetheus to take her beyond the Castle boundaries. 

"My lady, I don't think that it's a good idea to go beyond the castle walls. The Dragonlord..."  
"Tetheus, I'm sure that the darnas can outrun anything that you can't fight off."

_Deploy encouraging smile number 2._

"I feel completely safe with you and we're not going out far. Come on. Please?"

Tetheus closes his mouth, but his eyes keep talking. Regardless, he leads her riding dragon along the path and out of the Castle. 

* * *

At the moment it looks as though the story's eight chapters long. It's nice to have a plan and a goal for once. I know how it ends. Yay. I'm looking forward to getting there, as long as the angst doesn't fall too deep. Sometimes I worry that I'll go too over the top, but I hope that I've got the tone right and that it doesn't get boring before we get to the end.

I also hope I got all the attitudes right. Ruwalk treats her as just one of the guys, Alfeegi's very nervous around her and Tetheus can never say no to her.

As for Lykouleon...Well, I'll deal with him in another chapter. I'm not sure how Kai-Stern is with her either. 


	4. The First Time They Met

Warning: Major angst ahead. This is not like any of my other stories.

_Italics_ are her thoughts. 

* * *

The Dragonlord's study has never been so full. Two of the dragon secretary set are present, as well as the Dragonlord and a representative from each of the searching parties currently combing the castle grounds. The Dragonlord looks the least stressed of the group, but even he is perturbed.

"So in the course of two days, we've lost Lady Raseleane twice?"  
"Well, the first time it wasn't so much that we lost her, as that we forgot to collect her." Alfeegi gives Lykouleon a nervous smile as Ruwalk steps forward.  
"You don't think that she was kidnapped do you my lord?"  
Lykouleon shakes his head while thinking out loud. "If a yokai **had** managed to enter the grounds, then every one of us would have known. She would have to be lured out first, and then she would have been seen at one of the gates." He shakes his head again. "She must still be in the castle, we should search again." He looks directly at Ruwalk and Alfeegi. "I'm also worried about Tetheus. He hasn't turned up either."

The senior dragons share glances. Not having their Chief of Security during a major search of the grounds has severely hampered their efforts. A commotion at the door is explained when Tetheus enters looking flushed and guilty. He walks right up to Lykouleon and starts talking before the Dragonlord can get a word in.

"The dragon fighters at the gates have told me what's been happening. I'm really sorry my lord. I didn't think. The lady Raseleane is perfectly safe, I've escorted her to the doctor's room and he's examining her now. She should be ready to meet you before dinner, assuming everything goes well."  
Everyone in the room breathes a sigh of relief and then Lykouleon eyes Tetheus mischievously. "And what exactly happened to the fair lady Raseleane?"  
Tetheus gulps nervously before continuing. "I met her by the stables and agreed to tutor her in riding darnas. Well, she insisted on a more challenging ride." A tiny sweatdrop starts to form on Tetheus's forehead. Ruwalk and Alfeegi follow its progress down his face with fascination. "I couldn't say no. She insisted that she'd be perfectly safe with me to protect her, so, we, went, beyond the castle walls and for a very short, safe trip in the gentle, safe valley, far from any yokai. I'm so very sorry." Tetheus bows low and waits for recriminations. Alfeegi's the first to respond and his voice is incredulous.  
"You mean, that this woman..."  
"Future Dragonqueen of Dusis," interjects Ruwalk.  
"Future Dragonqueen of Dusis," Alfeegi continues. "Who you've never met before..." Tetheus nods. "Managed to talk you, the Head of Security for the Dragon Castle and responsible for her personal safety, into taking her beyond the castle grounds and the safety of the lord's yokai shield?"  
Tetheus merely nods. Alfeegi beams at the Dragonlord. "Looks like we'll finally be getting a diplomat with the next generation. Thank god. You're utterly useless at that sort of thing."  
"**Alfeegi?!**" Both Ruwalk and Tetheus are glaring at Alfeegi.  
"Sorry. You're utterly useless at that sort of thing, my lord."

~~~~~~~~~

Raseleane's elation at the ride is swiftly diminishing. For some reason doctors' rooms, by a law of nature, have to be below freezing at all times. Absolutely nothing is allowed to heat the room up and the doctors seem to be the only ones who don't notice that the temperature qualifies the room as being in the midst of an ice age. Raseleane is shivering, naked, while the doctor runs various established, humiliating tests to check her general health and fertility. 

"Your periods occur regularly?" The doctor is noting down all responses on a sheet of paper, most of them pre-emptively.  
"Yes."  
"And your last flow was on what date?"  
"Oh about, three weeks ago."  
"Describe the consistency." The questions are rattled off, almost before they are answered. When Raseleane hesitates over the last question, the doctor reaches into a counter and hands over another empty bottle. "Please fill this with a sample on the occasion of your next flow. Now sit on the table and relax. This may be a little cold."

_Another bottle? How many different types of sample does he want? I've never felt so violated. I hope I never have to go through this again._

Raseleane lies back on the table while her most intimate areas are probed and details entered on the doctor's sheet. Her cheeks grow red with an embarrassed flush. _I had thought that only my husband would ever see those areas, and I sure hoped that the first time they were touched would be more gentle and loving than this._  
The doctor humphs happily and writes a final detail on the sheet before allowing Raseleane to rise.  
"Congratulations, you appear to be a virgin and in excellent health. I'll be able to give a more detailed analysis when you return those three samples to me, but I'm sure they won't turn up anything that would disqualify you from joining the royal family. I'll send on a copy of my report to the Dragonlord, but in the meantime..."

The doctor turns his back and rummages through the notes on his desk. Raseleane remains on the table, unsure whether now she is allowed to clothe herself. She picks up her dress and holds it to her body while she waits for the doctor to turn his attention back to her. He pulls out a sheet of paper and speaks again.  
"Eat more of these foods, and avoid these ones. I'll send the list down to the kitchens for you."  
"And why should I avoid these foods?"

The doctor looks up at her and blinks, as if realising for the first time, that he's been examining an actual person, who might be interested in why so many uncomfortable objects have been poked inside of her.  
"Oh well, the foods prescribed either contribute to pregnancy, or have been proven to improve the health of the baby when it's born. Once the second baby has been delivered, you can return to a preferred diet. The wet-nurse, however, will be following the same diet, to ensure a high quality of milk."  
_I'm not even going to be able to care for my baby?_ "Um, a wet-nurse?"  
The doctor looks at her. "That is the tradition right now isn't it? Most women are only too happy to hand their children over to the nurse. Feeding them tends to interfere terribly with their social life."  
Raseleane clutches her dress to her. "Should I get dressed now?"  
"Ah, of course." A flush spreads over the doctor's cheeks to match her own. "I'll wait in the next room. Please take your time, your majesty."

The doctor leaves through the door and Raseleane slowly rises to her feet. Her clothing is difficult to put on without help and Raseleane gives up on the corset and removes it. Her dress is slightly baggy without it and her unsupported breasts brush against the fabric as she walks. When she is fully dressed she lays the corset on the table and joins the doctor in the outer room.  
"Could you have someone bring the corset to my room?" she asks. The doctor nods and Raseleane curtseys before returning to her suite, where Wilhemina is waiting for her. She rushes over and berates the lackless girl.

"The Dragonlord is waiting for you! Where were you? The castle's been turned upside down searching and no sign is found anywhere. The Dragonlord's wondering if you've run away. The Secretaries have been whispering in corners and I've been dying of the shame."  
"Mother..."  
"Don't 'mother' me. This is our family's chance to make something of ourselves and you've been busily ruining it. The entire castle! Two times a minute some fresh-faced young man would poke his head in and ask if I'd seen you. The entire castle knows that you've been missing. It's a scandal, a disgrace. We'll be lucky if we're not sent packing."  
"You're exaggerating."  
"Exaggerating?!"

Raseleane breezes past her mother, projecting an air of cold as she does so. "I had no appointment with the Dragonlord. Don't forget that he broke his with me. I was simply spending my time in the garden wondering if I'd been discarded already." She turns and stares at Wilhemina, reminding her of the slur already cast on their family's name. She calms down, but still hasn't gained an explanation from Raseleane, so she pushes further.   
"The gardens were searched as thoroughly as the castle, where did you manage to hide?"  
Raseleane sits and beckons her mother to do so too. Once she's seated Raseleane explains everything that happened since she met Tetheus. She leaves out the arrival of the Dragonlord though. _I think it's best to plead ignorance on this. If I'd known he was back in the castle, it'd be foolish of me to travel beyond the castle grounds. I'm sure that Tetheus would've refused to take me if he'd known._ Wilhemina is horrified.

"So you just, just, took off with this stranger? He could've done anything!"  
"Mother, he's one of the Dragon Secretaries, the Chief of Security and a noble and honourable man. You'll meet him at dinner, I'm sure. He's lovely and really sweet. He wouldn't think of doing anything inappropriate. He's reserved and dedicated to his duty."  
"Raseleane, you should still think of your position. If word got out that you'd ignored your fiancée to go gallivanting with one of his officers, no matter if it was perfectly innocent, a scandal could erupt. People like nothing better than to gossip and right now you've got no protection. If the Dragonlord decides that the scandal attached to you is too high, he could break the engagement and wait for another girl to be born with dragoneyes."  
"I don't think he'd be willing to wait somehow."  
"What? Why do you say that?"  
_Oops, I'm not supposed to know about that._ "I overheard someone say that he's anxious for an heir. That's all."  
"That's no guarantee. You should know better than to listen to gossip. Don't believe every word you hear, but fear its power. Loose talk has ruined many a maiden's reputation."  
"You'll therefore be pleased to note that the castle's doctor has declared me a virgin then. I'm sure that the criers will be spreading the news through the halls of the castle and streets of the town."  
"Oh." Wilhemia leaves her seat and hugs Raseleane. "You should have sent word that you were being examined. I'd have accompanied you. Was the doctor a man? I hope scandal doesn't erupt from that too."  
"Mother?" Raseleane's voice is close to breaking.  
"I know dear. That kind of examination must have been awful. We have no choice now, but to follow their rules. It's all right dear. It's okay."

The two women hold each other until a knock on the door reveals a messenger, announcing that the Dragonlord would be arriving in an hour to greet the lady Raseleane. The two ladies retire to Raseleane's room to search for the perfect dress to meet him in. They settle on a midnight blue silk, with pearls adorning Raseleane's hair and neck, and then start the dressing ceremony. First a new corset is squeezed into, then the dress is laid out and formally approved. Raseleane steps into it and her mother laces it up at the back. Then, the hair is brushed 99 times and bound and decorated with the pearls. Light make-up is applied, as the Dragonqueen is a delicate rose of great beauty needing no adornment. The final act, is the placing of a simple row of pearls around her neck, like a collar fitting into place. The mirror shows a confident, calm, uptight, unbendable lady. Inside, the story changes.   
Her emotions whirl and twist as she waits perfectly still for the rest of her life to appear. _ If I move I might disturb my perfectly composed picture and mother would not be pleased. I think we may have overdone it with the pearls, are they slipping to one side? I think I can feel them slightly heavier on the left. Are they?_ Anything that will distract her from the countdown to her destiny is eagerly seized on. The corset's support forces her into a confident posture, but every moment her thoughts return to how inadequate she is. _Will the Dragonlord like me? Am I good enough?_ Running true to form, he is late, and she waits in agony for over half an hour, in her artfully chosen pose. Neither she, nor her mother have spoken since the preparation finished and the wait began. _If only, I had more time. If only this wasn't so awkward. If only I was at home, surrounded by familiar things and comfortable dresses. I think they laced this one with itching powder._

When the knock does come, both are jolted. Wilhemina rises, looking Raseleane over carefully one final time, before opening the door. This time, there is no messenger, only a smiling blond man dressed all in white. Wilhemina leads him to Raseleane and seats him beside her, before moving to the farthest chair in the room. Raseleane smiles and introduces herself, but inside she's cold.

_How can this be? Yes, he's attractive. Yes, I can see the weight he bears on his shoulders and how tired he looks. Yes, he seems kind, his eyes hold a softness I've not seen before, but I feel nothing for him. This man is a stranger, I know less about him that any other person in this castle and I'm quite sure that he feels the same way about me. He doesn't know what to make of me. Look at how he's casting about for a topic. Surely we have more in common than an ability to notice the weather.   
I thought that there was supposed to be a spark. I thought that you were supposed to **know** when you meet the person you're destined to marry. The one that'll make you happy forever. The one that'll hold you as the most important thing in his life. Where's the lightning, the electricity, the moment of perfect joy and complete understanding? I thought that when you met **the one**, you were somehow supposed to turn from being two people, into being one perfect whole. I'm still Raseleane. Nothing's changed. This isn't the person I'm supposed to be with. He isn't my other half. I'm a baby machine to him and nothing more. He doesn't want to be here and neither do I. How can I agree to spend the rest of my life with him? _

* * *

I may be able to wrap this up in seven chapters instead of eight. In either case, you now stand at the halfway stage, what do you think? The doctor has no bedside manner, but I doubt he's ever examined a queen before. I'd like to point out that this fic isn't from Lykouleon's point of view. I'm going to stand up for him here, this fic is all about Raseleane and if you looked inside his head, you might find something similar going on. You might also find that he's worrying about what's next for dinner, you don't know, because I'm not going to enlighten you.

The last chapter was light on angst. It actually ended on an upbeat note, which has been corrected this time. This series is the one I take most care over. It takes the longest to write, and I'm more careful when editing it that I get the tone right, especially her long angsty internal moments. I'm not naturally an angsty person, so that's why it takes so long. 

I wrote this because I don't believe in arranged marriages. If you get involved in one, they're not for love. Love can develop from them, but it takes time. Maybe people work harder at them, since they know that work is needed. Marriage isn't a happy ever after ending. It's hard work, and you need to go into it with your eyes open. Poor Raseleane isn't. She's a romantic who still believes in charging princes on horses and that everything will **work out**. She doesn't realise that you have to make it work out. Lykouleon will need a **lot** of breaking in. Hey, he's never even had a girlfriend! 

I think I have a final draft. Go me. Woo. I wrote the bulk of this a while ago. Polishing and finding the perfect words took about a week. On the other hand, this fic **will** be finished. There is an ending. There's a wedding. That might be a long chapter. Ah! Oh well, teaser. Next chapter, Lykouleon and Raseleane have more conversations about the weather. 


	5. Make or Break

Warning: Major angst ahead. This is not like any of my other stories.

_Italics_ are her thoughts. 

* * *

It's a beautiful day. The sunlight forms a dappled pattern on the ground, as it peeks through the canopy of leaves on the trees that shelter Raseleane and Lykouleon. The setting is awesome, the view amazing, the weather wonderful and the company is pleasant. Lykouleon is animated, a rare occasion, as he describes his plans for world domination.  
"So, once the army's built up, I'm going to mass it on the lower plains and we're going to have a decisive battle with the yokai forces. We'll win, they'll be wiped out and then the world will be a safer and better place."  
He finishes, his face flushed and turns back to Raseleane for her unbounded admiration.  
"Is that wise my lord?"  
"Eh?" Bewilderment crosses his face, but Lykouleon is willing to humour his fiancée.  
"Placing all of your eggs in one basket like that is extremely risky. If the yokai know you're building up your forces, they may attempt to sabotage you. And even if you do get to the decisive battle, there's no guarantee that you'll win. Otherwise the yokai just won't turn up. If the army is destroyed then the yokai forces will rule over all and the people of Dusis will face complete annihilation."  
Lykouleon turns to Raseleane, with a patronizing look on his face. "Silly. You don't need to worry your pretty little head about all that. I know what I'm doing." He daringly reaches out and squeezes her hand before sitting down beside her. "So, there's a formal dinner this evening. What are you going to wear? The Duchess will be here with her entourage, so you ladies can gossip while the men talk business."

Raseleane sighs inwardly, but puts on a bright and cheery tone while she discusses these shallow details. _Why is it always like this? Every time we reach an interesting topic and I venture an opinion he drags the conversation back to these nothing topics! What? Am I meant to be a pretty mindless doll, with only an interest in fluffy, simple things? What sort of child would be born from a union with such an inane creature? I've been schooled from the age of four, instructed in beauty, deportment and etiquette, but also war and economics, all of the subjects which may be useful to a Queen. Is he not going to use me? Why did they encourage me to grow a brain if it's to be condemned to dotage?_

Before long, a functionary arrives to call the Dragonlord away. As Lykouleon leaves, Raseleane collapses into herself. Her eyes fall to her lap and she holds her temples, thus completely missing the arrival of Tetheus, whose hand is falling from its wave of greeting.  
"Can I really do this? Can I marry someone that I don't love, that doesn't care for me?"

Tetheus turns aside and returns to the castle without speaking to Raseleane.

* * *

Raseleane gains no solace from further pondering in the garden and a light rain drives her back into the castle. She wanders through the halls before realising that she's been in the castle for over a month, but she still has no place there. 

_I'm just wandering aimlessly. I have no job, no place to be, no orders to give or advice to offer. The kitchens run themselves, the maids clean and I have no idea how this is taken care of. All I've been doing is moping around and living a life of leisure._ She laughs, a light and dreamy laugh that she hasn't heard in ages. Happy with this new sensation she laughs again. _I'm completely useless. What, am I supposed to get married then sit around and work hard at getting pregnant? Do I sit in the garden and will myself to conceive? Is that all I'll have to distract me? Isn't there something that I can do?_

Her feet take her all over the castle and everywhere she goes maids clean faster, guards stand firmer and functionaries scuttle back and forth with more purpose. As she walks past, they all breathe a sigh of relief and return to more normal habits. _I wonder if they act like this for Lykouleon too. I doubt it. He has such an easy way, that everyone relaxes around him. I guess they all trust him to do what's right. _ She smiles. _In fact, I think the only one that's able to get angry with him is Alfeegi. All anyone else can manage is concern. I wish I'd been taught how to carry that off, but my mother trained me to make an impact, to be graceful, poised and better than everyone else, so no-one's at ease with me. Maybe if I watch him, I can pick up how he does it. I suppose he's not a bad guy to be married to. If only he loved me, then I'd feel better about it. Maybe I could fall in love with him too then._

A grimace sours her features. _Why doesn't he love me? I've had countless men, since I was six, telling me how beautiful I am and how much they love me. Father received requests for my hand every week. He always said "No. She's to marry the Dragonlord." and they all sighed and said that it was only right, that only the Dragonlord was good enough for me. That didn't stop them trying to persuade me to run away with them though. _The frown is replaced by a wistful look. _I was so proud of myself then. The Dragonlord was truly a grand and worthy fiancée. No-one else measured up to the image I had of him. That was before I saw Cyndia and her beloved. They couldn't bear to be parted, even for a moment, and my one, perfect Dragonlord hadn't even met me. He never sent a letter, or a birthday present, or anything. I began to wonder if he actually knew I existed and if all the preparation was because of some figment in my mother's brain. I'd almost convinced myself that nothing was going to happen, when word came from Draqueen. That burst my bubble. The Dragonlord changed from a kindly figure to a cold and unfeeling one, who didn't care in the least about the woman who was going to have to bear his offspring._

Raseleane looks up and finds herself outside the door to her rooms. _Now I know that he's kind and attractive, but..._ She raises a hand to the door._ Why did he never want to meet me? Why did he dislike me so? Why wasn't he at least curious? Does he love someone else?_ She opens the door and steps inside._ I'm tired. I think I'll take a nap._

"Has anyone else seen you moping around like this? Really Raseleane, you have an image to maintain."

Wilhemina approaches her daughter and fusses at her dress. There's nothing out of place, but she's done this for so long, that it's become a bonding ritual for her.

"I'm just tired mother. I'm going to lie down."

Wilhemina finishes by patting a few stray wisps of hair. "Well, I want to talk to you first. Sit down Raseleane."

The two settle down on the couch. _I hope it's not another lecture, I really couldn't bear it. I've been almost free of them since we arrived in the castle._ Raseleane yawns, daintily covering her mouth with her hand. _I just want to rest._ Wilhemina looks at her with a wide smile and a slight fire.   
"Raseleane, everything's been going well. I'm sure that the Dragonlord is going to ask you officially to marry him." She bounces on her seat with barely contained excitement. "Have you decided how you're going to answer him yet?"  
"Well..."  
"You have two choices. A touching speech or a simple "yes". I can't decide myself, maybe we should practise both." She stands up and paces briefly. "I'll be the Dragonlord. He's thoughtful, so he'll probably pick a quiet romantic spot. We'll assume that it's the seat by the cedar grove." She places her hands behind her back and affects a deep voice. "Raseleane. You're a wonderful, beautiful, enchanting lady and I've fallen deeply in love with you. I know that we've been engaged since you were a baby, but now I want to ask you, face to face, will you be my wife?" As she finishes her speech, she looks up to see that Raseleane is frozen. "Raseleane? Will you marry me? Raseleane? For goodness sake child, what's wrong?"  
"He doesn't love me. You got that bit wrong." Raseleane's voice is unemotional and her face barely moves as she speaks.  
"Of course he loves you. Everyone loves you."  
"Everyone but Lykouleon." With that, she lapses into silence.  
Wilhemina sits beside Raseleane and tenderly reaches out to her. She places her hands on either side of Raseleane's face and gently pulls it towards her. Raseleane resists at first, but allows herself to be drawn to her mother. "Raseleane, why do you think he doesn't love you?" Her voice has never been so gentle.  
"He spends time with me, a few minutes here and there, but we've never gotten into a deep discussion. As soon as I start to talk about something important, rather than just agreeing blindly with him, he drags the conversation back to something bland. He's interested in what my favourite foods are, what my prettiest dress is, but not how I feel about the best way to deal with yokai attacks, or how to stimulate the economy, or what really scares me deep inside. I just get the feeling that he doesn't want my opinion and would prefer a parrot repeating his words back to him in an admiring tone."  
"All men are like that. He's scared of appearing an idiot in front of you, when he's trying so hard to impress you."  
"But he's not impressive." She looks her mother straight in the eye. "I mean, he's impressive, he puts everyone at ease and he's got real charisma, but his ideas on how to defeat the yokai are childish and unworkable and he refuses to listen to reason."  
"Raseleane, you didn't argue with him about his plans for Draqueen did you?" Wilhemina's voice is starting to turn from a kind, listening tone to a lecturing one.  
"I just pointed out that he shouldn't put all of his eggs in one basket."  
"His advisors are the ones to tell him that his plans are foolish. They've far more experience than you have schooling. You are to be his wife. You will be his support. He will need you to bolster him and encourage him when all is dark. Your job is to keep him sane. He carries the world on his shoulders and he will need you." She snorts. "A man does not tell his wife anything, he does as he pleases. This one is no different."  
"But Cyndia..." she pleads.  
"She married beneath her. Men who are wealthy do not need wealthy wives, but women need powerful husbands or they will never have power. We also have another problem, since age is no bar to marriage for a man, but it is for a woman. Most powerful men can afford to wait another ten years for a younger, prettier wife. Women do not have that luxury. You must marry and you must marry quickly, or you will never be wed. Most marry when they are young and impressionable. In fact, most human women are about sixteen, still children and thus easily moulded to their husband's wishes. You can strive for your own identity once you have produced an heir. Once you've made a baby, your position is secure and you cannot be replaced."  
"But, is it fair to him, to marry him, when I'm not happy about it?"  
"Those of lower birth have nothing to lose if worst comes to worst and they leave their home. You have everything to lose. If you leave the Dragonlord now, you will never marry. No-one will touch you in case they lose favour with him. You have no choice. His eye is upon you and if you refuse him, you will ruin us!"   
Raseleane looks away and speaks softly. "Would it be so bad if I never married?"  
Wilhemina drags her attention back. "You are the only one who can provide an heir to the dragon kingdom. The worst that can happen is that an accident or a yokai assault, or the overconfidence that you see, kills the Dragonlord and there is no heir. The needs of the many, the need of the kingdom for an heir and a stable Lord, outweighs your need for a devoted husband and a happy homelife. Think how selfish and small that sounds. Your looks could snare many a man, but your dragoneyes will mark you out wherever you go. Everyone will know that you betrayed the Dragonlord and his kingdom."

Raseleane looks up, her hands shaking and her eyes brimming with tears. Wilhemina wipes them and speaks firmly.  
"You are the only one who can marry him. There is no other. If you do not, then the line of the Dragonlord will end. Raseleane, you must decide what is really important. You must decide if you can lead a married life with him. For if you cannot, then we are doomed." 

* * *

The cedar grove is alien and disquieting in the moonlight. It's also heart-achingly beautiful. The chill she feels is only increased when her companion rises from the seat and places his hands on her bare shoulders.

"Raseleane. I was hoping to meet a beautiful and endearing woman and I was afraid that I'd meet a harridan with no kindness or empathy, someone totally unsuitable that I'd be forced to share my life with." He laughs. "I'm glad that all of my fears were laid to rest. I want to look after you. I want to raise children with you and I want to grow older with you. Will you marry me?"  
"Yes." 

* * *

Raseleane's mum obviously has issues with her own marriage. She's got a very old-fashioned, outdated view of marriage, even for the time depicted in the story. (I have no idea how Mineko Okhami would portray marriage, but I hope that she'd agree about Raseleane's mum.) If she'd given different advice, maybe about caring and sharing, (Friends reference. It was on the telly earlier) it's highly likely that Raseleane and Lykouleon would have talked seriously about her fears and the Dragonlord's expectations and everything would be hunky dory right now. Still, you did notice that angst is in the genre description, right?  
The one thing that I'm really worried about is that one of the books makes my story redundant before I'm finished. Huge pressure to finish then. Two chapters to go.

I'm sorry if this chapter is a little rushed. I've been distracted since the draft was finished as I just got Dark Cloud 2. I haven't been able to polish it properly, but it's been a week since the draft was done, so I'm putting it up as it is. I may purty it up a bit in a few days, once I've got less enamoured of Dark Cloud 2. 


	6. Wedding Bells

Hmm why do I write in the present tense? I think it's because I'm writing stories based on a manga and there is no past tense in manga, as you see everything unfold before you in pictures, and if you reread a story it's still all happening in the present tense. You see Rath stab someone with his sword, you see Alfeegi turn red, you don't read that he turned red and shouted at Lykouleon. I know that I'm not writing manga, but it seemed to make sense when I started. Actually, it was instinctive. I'm still new to all this. I'll certainly keep it in mind for my next story, but since I'm only two chapters from the end, I'll stick with it for this one. I may re-edit it later though.

**Special thanks to Dee-chan**. She's my beautiful, talented, hard-working and patient beta-reader.

Warning: Major angst ahead. This is not like any of my other stories.

_Italics_ are her thoughts. 

* * *

The castle has been filling up with guests, well-wishers and the insatiably curious for the past month. Almost before notice of the wedding had been distributed and certainly before invitations had issued. Lykouleon and Raseleane haven't seen much of each other since he proposed, as both have been busy with preparations for the wedding, Lykouleon with a small yokai incursion to the west and Raseleane with meeting and entertaining the various nobles, which have descended on Draqueen. The gentlemen spend the days discussing the upcoming war and the ladies, almost to a woman, are incredibly envious of Raseleane. Of course, that was expected and none can fault her beauty, style, or grace, but Raseleane wishes that they weren't looking _quite_ so hard for reasons to dislike her.

The denizens of the castle are slowly transforming it into a palace worthy of the wedding of the dragonlord. Every day it grows more flowery and feminine. The ladies of the castle have control for the first time and they're gradually eroding all masculine influences. Alfeegi was originally in charge of the redecoration, but has handed it over to Wilhemina, who's suspicious of his taste. She's running left, right and centre, ordering dragon officers at perilous angles on the top of rickety ladders, to reach out a _little_ further to hang the garlands of white roses and bolts of cream chiffon, organising the entrance of guests into the great hall and rearranging the flowers in every bouquet she passes. Raseleane's never seen her so happy.

"Raseleane," Wilhemina steps over to her young daughter. "Let me take care of these little details. Really, weddings are such stressful affairs, but I absolutely can't let anyone else take over." She runs a hand over slightly frazzled hair. "You won't believe what one of those women said to me when I worried that we might run out of chiffon. "Chintz", she said. "Chintz?" Wilhemina tuts and rubs her hands. "It's lucky that I took over here so early on." Raseleane reaches out to pat her mother's arm and Wilhemina looks at her as if seeing her for the first time. "Oh, that reminds me." She pulls another two introduction cards out of her apron pocket. "Another two arrived today. I think they're settling into the blue room, but you'd better see them before too long."

Raseleane groans, but takes the cards. Every arrival has handed one of these into the guards at the gate. It states their name, title, place of residence, and Alfeegi fills in the rooms assigned to them during their stay. Each one of them requests the presence of the bride within hours of their arrival. Raseleane says goodbye to her mother and walks off toward the Blue Room. Meanwhile, Wilhemina rushes off to berate a hapless maid for placing a vase of flowers in precisely the wrong position. 

Raseleane reaches the stairs closest to the rooms, when a voice calls out to her. She turns to see a well-dressed traveller with silver-white hair, but a youthful face. _I've never seen a dragon with grey hair, but his doesn't look like it's from advanced age. If anything, he seems younger than most here._ His clothes are dusty, as if he walked to the wedding, yet they're well made.

"Another new face." His voice has no accent and it's impossible to place his hometown. He bows cheekily and waves at the cards in her hand. "Of course, you're here for the wedding."  
Raseleane blushes slightly. "Yes, I'm..."  
The stranger steps in and takes her hand. "Then let me show you the castle. With all the excitement going on, it'll be hard to get a native to give you the grand tour."  
"Actually I..."  
"Ah, where are my manners." He raises her hand to his mouth, and presses his lips to it for rather longer than is comfortable. He watches her closely as he does so. "My name is Kai-Stern, I'm the Blue Dragon Officer and the Foreign Secretary for the Dragonlord." He says this offhand and watches her reaction out of the corner of his eyes. When her face lights up, he smiles widely.  
"Ah, then you're the last one. My name's Raseleane and it's a pleasure to finally meet you, Kai-Stern. Lykouleon's told me all about you."  
Kai-Stern pauses for a brief moment and then regains his poise. "Ah, then you must allow me to defend myself and contradict all of the bad impressions that he's passed onto you."  
Raseleane smiles and reassures him. "It's all been good news."  
Kai-Stern takes her hand again and sighs softly. "It's typical that the prettiest girl here is already taken." He bows with a flourish and kisses her hand again. "It's been a pleasure to meet you, my queen. If you would excuse me, I'll retire to my rooms and make myself a bit more presentable."  
As he leaves, Raseleane thinks, _So that's Kai-Stern. Well, I've met them all now, and not one of them has anything in common. Where did he find such disparate bunch?_ She smiles. _I bet Lykouleon deliberately sought such different advisors, and not least for the distraction that any personality conflict would cause._

Raseleane's gaze returns to the cards in her hand and she sighs and climbs the stairs. She then fulfils her duty by entertaining the newest arrivals to the castle. The Duke of Lanford is boorish and over-awed by the Castle, whereas his wife seems to be planning an overhaul of the decor.

"Of course, we update our home every other year, with a major redecoration every ten years, isn't that right dear?" The Duke grunts, while the Duchess continues mentally evaluating their accommodation. "How often is this place done up?"  
"Well, Alfeegi has been running the castle and he keeps a modest budget for painting and decorating."  
"Ah, there you go." The Duchess leans back and smirks at her husband before turning back to Raseleane conspiratorially. "Men have no talent for decoration. They're just not creative the same way we are. Once you marry, you must take over and redo simply everything, darling." She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a square of paper, which she hands to Raseleane. "This is the name of my decorator, she's very talented." 

Raseleane carefully files away the paper in her purse, but the conversation does not end there.

"Of course I would completely alter everything, but you've got such a big job here, maybe you could phase it. Purple is the new blue and it looks very well in bedrooms. White is simply too old fashioned for widespread use," she sniffs. "There's so much of it in the Castle."  
"It's kind of themed for the wedding. White is the Dragonlord's signature colour, after all."  
The Duchess immediately affects a smile. "And it looks so well on him. It's such a hard colour to carry off, but he's the one person that manages."  
"Will we be meeting the Dragonlord?" The Duke is sweating heavily as he breaks in, but Raseleane can sense his yearning to speak, even briefly, with the Lord of Draqueen.  
"Oh dear, he's far too busy. Is he?" The Duchess's eyes shine as she sees a coup appear before her. The Dragonlord hasn't lowered himself to smalltalk with the guests. _I bet that the timing of his battles with the yokai has been partly arranged to avoid polite conversation with the nobles infesting the Castle. I wish I could escape it so easily._  
"Unfortunately the yokai attacks have kept him busy, but he'll be at the wedding."  
The Duke and Duchess laugh politely. "Of course he will, how droll!"

A knock on the door intrudes on the cosy scene and the Duchess leaves her esteemed guest to deal with the interruption. She opens the door to reveal the Blue Dragon Officer, newly dusted, dressed and charming. He bows to the Duchess, kissing her hand briefly, then crosses the room to shake the Duke's hand.  
"Welcome to the Castle, I hope you've both settled in okay."  
"Why of course. The Lady Raseleane has been so kind to us both." The Duchess gushes to Kai-Stern while eyeing him for developmental potential. "Now that the Dragonlord's off the market, we'll have to marry you Dragon Officers next."  
"My dear lady," Kai-Stern clutches his heart and takes the Duchess's hands. "Are you telling me that you'll toss over the Duke here for me?"  
She blushes instantly and assures her husband that of course she would not.  
Kai-Stern's face falls. "Ah, my poor heart is broken. For a brief moment I thought that I would finally find happiness." He grabs the Duke's shoulder. "You're a lucky man, my friend. It's a long and lonely hunt to find someone as wonderful as your lady wife." The Duke makes indistinguishable noises, but appears to be happy with Kai-Stern's gentle flirting. Kai-Stern takes Raseleane's elbow. "Now, if you will excuse me, I'm afraid that I must steal your gracious host. There are innumerable wedding plans to finalise that simply cannot be made without her presence."

The Duke and Duchess release her without a fuss and Kai-Stern quickly shunts her to the door. Once they're a safe distance from the couple she turns to Kai-Stern.  
"Thank you for the rescue. They're a lovely couple, but I've been entertaining for the past month and my tolerances are low."  
He turns to her with a twinkle in his eyes. "And now I must take you to a dull planning meeting, filled with boring details, like the number of flowers each bridesmaid must carry down the aisle."  
Raseleane laughs. "I know that my mother would not relinquish such an important detail to one such as I, so you've let the joke slip far too early."  
Kai-Stern ducks his head. "I guess you know your mother far too well for me to fool you." He reaches in to whisper in her ear. "In that case let me tell you the truth, though I have to swear you to secrecy." He stands back with his hands clasped behind him, until Raseleane raises her hand and promises to keep the secret he's about to reveal to her. "Okay then. The other Dragon Officers and I have bunked off and grabbed a bottle or two of wine and we're having a secret, illicit party in Alfeegi's room. You're invited, as the person most put upon this week. Will you join us?"  
"I'd love to!" 

The tension melts out of Raseleane and Kai-Stern finds it hard to keep with her as she leads the way to Alfeegi's. Inside, the party has already started. Tetheus is in the corner, talking seriously to an equally serious young Dragon Fighter. Ruwalk is playing an upbeat melody on a lute, accompanied by two maids who Raseleane doesn't recognise, and Alfeegi is dancing, alone, on the table. Raseleane and Kai-Stern grab glasses of wine and drink and dance through the night. 

Raseleane and Kai-Stern work together for the next few days, bolstering each others morale and rescuing each other from the dullest of guests. Eventually, like-minded groups begin to form, and the serious business of wheeling, dealing and gossiping grows, without needing the supervision of the two dragons. Any free time is taken up with fittings and run throughs. Raseleane walks down the aisle on average ten times a day, though Lykouleon arrives to only a few of the practices and Alfeegi, or Tetheus stands in for him. 

During one of the final practices, Wilhemina leaves the party to deal with a minor crisis and Raseleane sits down on the dais' steps. Tetheus joins her.  
"Don't tell mother. I'm not supposed to sit in this dress, in case it creases. She's going to iron it anyway, the day before the ceremony, but one strong crease could be fatal and ruin the day for everyone."  
Tetheus smiles. "If I see one, I'll stand in the way." He coughs briefly. "I know Lykouleon hasn't been to many of the run-throughs, I've started to worry that I'll have to stand in for him on the wedding day itself too."  
Raseleane smiles at him. "I Raseleane, take thee Tetheus, I mean Lykouleon."  
Tetheus looks around to see if anyone has overheard, but the bride and her stand-in husband are not the centre of attention for once. "Look, I know that this is biggest thing you'll ever experience."  
"Don't worry, I've been paying attention. I won't mess up during the ceremony."  
"That's not what I mean. Marriage. The wedding. Lykouleon's spending more time planning these skirmishes than talking about the future with you. He's consumed with protecting the kingdom, but you are important too. If you want, I can talk to him and arrange time alone for the two of you to talk."  
She squeezes his hand.   
"It's okay. We'll have plenty of time to talk and there's no backing out now, for either of us. We should both be acclimatised to the idea of getting married and being together." She looks away. "There's no point in having a Dragon Queen and an heir if there's no kingdom to protect."  
Tetheus opens his mouth, as if to speak again, but says nothing. He simply waits with Raseleane until the aborted ceremony restarts.

* * *

The day of the ceremony dawns cold and clear. A light mist covers the castle grounds and even seems to linger in the air inside. Wilhemina pulls aside the curtains of her sitting room and looks out, before awakening Raseleane.  
"Hmm, no cloud. It should be bright and pleasant by the time the wedding proper begins."  
There is no movement from Raseleane.  
"Raseleane? It's time."  
The lump in the bed still does not stir. Wilhemina sits on the bed and waits.  
"Mother?" Raseleane has not turned to face her mother and Wilhemina prepares herself for a difficult conversation.  
"Yes dear?" She reaches a hand out and strokes the bed sheets covering her daughter.  
"What was it like when you married daddy?"   
Wilhemina exhales a loud breath. "How do you feel about Lykouleon? Do you love him?"  
A quiet "no" emerges from underneath the blankets.  
Wilhemina sighs and speaks with a quiet, slow voice. "I didn't love your father either. I had no choice. I was told by my father to marry him and I'd hoped for better for you, but when you were born ... you had even less choice than I did."  
"You were forced to marry daddy? You didn't love him?" Her voice is incredulous.  
"I fell in love with him, but it took time. Time to get used to all his irritating ways, like the way he'd disappear when I wanted a good fight with him. Or the way he'd demand solitude when he was in a reading mood."  
Raseleane finally turns to face her mother. "You were totally unsuited to each other."  
"Yes, but we adapted, the way you'll adapt to Lykouleon." Wilhemina strokes her daughter's hair and Raseleane props herself up on her elbow.  
"Lykouleon? You're not calling him the Dragonlord?"  
"He's my son-in-law now. You'll learn about each other, learn to compensate for each other and grow closer together." She falls silent for a moment, then smiles. "I remember the first time I realised that I didn't resent your father any more. I remember when love first stirred."  
Raseleane sits up and wraps the blanket around her. "Tell me."  
Wilhemina smiles and places a pillow behind her daughter, to cushion her back. "You were four..."  
"I was four? You didn't love him until I was four?"  
"I love him now."  
"And?"  
"And I realised that anger was useless. I realised that he was a good man, and kind, and that I was poisoning my life and his, with the resentment that I still had for my father. Daddy spoiled me rotten and that marriage was the first time that he didn't give in to me. I still believe that he was wrong, but I was married to your father and it was pointless to make our lives miserable, because nothing was going to change. I finally started to make the best of it, several years too late." She speaks more softly now. "Don't make the same mistake I did. Learn Lykouleon's ways. He's a good man, and he can make you happy."  
Raseleane says nothing, but starts to get up.

An army of handmaids enters the bedroom to aid Raseleane in her dressing, all controlled by the iron whip of Wilhemina. Under her direction, Raseleane is cleansed, plucked, perfumed and finally clothed. The dress is lifted from its dummy and all hold their breath as the laces are tightened at Raseleane's back. As pearl after pearl is sewn into her hair, the army steps back and Wilhemina takes over. It is she that lifts the final piece, the veil, into place.   
She steps forward and whispers into Raseleane's ear. "You look beautiful, darling", before lowering the gauze in front of her eyes. The veil distorts everything, as if a light fog has entered the room, and sound becomes muted. _The veil is the lightest available, as everyone will want to see my face. My lack of hearing must be an illusion, a mental trick caused by my nerves._

It is usually the bride that keeps everyone waiting, but Raseleane is confined to the room for a further hour, until word comes that the Dragonlord and his guests are all in position and ready for her entrance. As she is led from the room, she sees her cortège, a small party of assorted flower girls and bridesmaids, lined up in pairs according to height and all in a pale blue. Wilhemina falls into place behind her daughter. She took advantage of the delay to change into her own dress, a deep wine, the closest to black that she can dare, on her daughter's wedding day. Tetheus steps up beside her and takes her arm. He squeezes her hand, but says nothing and Raseleane takes comfort from that.

They finally set off on their procession, to an eerily empty castle. 

"I've never seen the castle like this. There's no-one around," she whispers. _Have yokai attacked while I was waiting and killed everyone?_ Her heart beats faster.  
Tetheus squeezes her hand again and whispers back. "Everyone's in the Great Hall. The Dragonlord has allowed all the staff to attend, except for those on guard duty. It's quite full in there. We may not fit!"  
Raseleane giggles and continues her slow pace. This is the first wedding she's been to where the flower girls didn't get bored, or distracted and run ahead. _Obviously, mother's trained them too._ They stop outside the entrance to the hall for a final check and Raseleane turns to Tetheus, her eyes welling a little.  
"I wish my father could be here."  
His face tightens and he pats her hand.   
"I wish that I could say something comforting."  
"I know."

The door opens and a layer of sound washes over the party and even penetrates the stillness of her veil, as everyone turns for their first sight of the bride. Music follows, an ethereal ditty that Raseleane recognises from lullabies sung to her as a child. Her mother's voice rises behind her.   
"They played this at our wedding too."  
At the third bar, the flower girls begin to walk and two by two, the rest of the party follows. The faces in the crowd disappear as the altar comes closer, turning into an odd blur of pastel colours. They are halfway down the aisle before Raseleane gets her first glance of Lykouleon. He's dressed in his signature colour, with the odd splash of purple, but whether it's from the clever lighting design, or the fog effect from the veil, it seems to Raseleane as though he's surrounded by a brilliant white aura. His features fade, and waiting for her is no longer kind and gentle Lykouleon, but the awesome glory of the Dragonlord. Her hands tremble but her feet continue to pull her forward, in perfect step with everyone else. _What am I doing? **What you've been trained for.** I'm not worthy to marry the Dragonlord. **Then no-one is.**_

Her escort reaches the steps of the dais and split to either side. At last Raseleane and Tetheus are exposed and together they step onto the dais. Tetheus walks her to Lykouleon and leaves her with a final squeeze to stand beside Wilhemina, who's waiting a step below. Lykouleon approaches his bride and lifts the veil from her eyes. As the sight and sound of the real world returns to her, the aura that seems to surround the Dragonlord disappears and she sees the man she's beginning to understand, in front of her again. He smiles and some of her worries melt away. _I can do this._

* * *

  
Laughter and music echo through the castle, even to the secluded, private quarters of the Dragonlord. Lykouleon places his hand on the door and slowly opens it. He turns before entering, to look at Raseleane. He reaches out his hand to his wife and gently cradles her cheek. His lips brush against hers, gently at first and then with more force. His mouth slowly opens and Raseleane follows his example, until Lykouleon's tongue enters her mouth to softly touch her own.  
"Raseleane," he says softly. "Let's go inside."

* * *

I'm sorry for the delay. This was hard to write and I got bored with it when it grew to such large proportions. I find angst hard to write, which is why the chapters are usually much shorter. It tires me out. Anyway. What could possibly happen next? The next chapter is the final one. 


	7. Isolation

Thank you to Morganeth Taren'drel, golden-lover90, 2lz2signin, just a reader, Seto-Yugi's Grl, The Crimson Comet, arashi, Sarah, wing_clover, Tigris-Lex, neoscottie, M.M., Jinsei, KyouFan17 and DemonandGoddess. 

Thanks also to **Dee-chan**, my beta reader, who's never read any Dragon Knights, but still likes the story. Thanks for betaing this chapter and sending it back the day after I emailed it.

I've changed my mind again and returned to the original plan. This fic is now an 8 chapter story again, so this is not the last chapter. Sorry about the delay. I had a small block, after fixing my first block. I guess it got hard as I neared the end. Hopefully the next chapter shouldn't take as long. Then, I can work on_ The Lonely and Unfulfilling Life of a Spy _again.     

Warning: Major angst ahead. This is not like any of my other stories.

_Italics_ are her thoughts. 

* * *

And so the fairytale ended with '_Happy ever after_'. Throughout Draqueen, everyone simply waits for the addendum, '_and the birth of their first son, sealed their happiness_'. The lives of dragons are long and their births are a rare and wondrous occasion, but a strange kind of energy fills the kingdom. Their lord was wed; surely a baby would follow soon? Gossip fills the corridors and every glance directed at Raseleane is pregnant with expectation. Everyone is now goose-stepping around her, as if she is made of a fragile glass that can break in the slightest breeze. Dragons must be healthy to have babies and no one wants to bear the responsibility for contaminating the Queen's fertility. Due to the unspoken consensus, no one is allowed to even cough in her presence. It's easiest to avoid her completely and so they do. 

The guests all fizzled away, in the days following the ceremony. Lands can only be left lordless for so long. Even the Duke of Lanford and his gracious wife have gone. Along with Kai-Stern. He was last seen accompanying a very pretty girl back to her hometown, while engaged on a mission of the utmost importance. He is missed, but it was worst when Wilhemina left. Having spent her entire life in that woman's shadow, Raseleane expected to feel free. Instead she feels lonely and empty and even forgets her importance, in the endless days. 

For the first few weeks, Lykouleon came to her rooms every night, but the visits dwindled, as Lykouleon make his excuses with early mornings and the demands of his duties. Although he was clumsy at first, his touch was gentle and Raseleane grew to live for those nights, the only times where she had her lord's undivided attention.

* * *

The night starts with a soft knock on the door. Lykouleon, as always, waits patiently to be admitted, humble as a schoolboy visiting elderly relations. Raseleane primps her hair and examines herself in the mirror, before directing her handmaid to escort the Dragonlord inside. The poor girl had worked in the scullery and still cannot bring herself to look at her lady, simply curtseying when spoken to and waiting to be released to the kitchens and the gossip of her friends. She blushes every time Lykouleon visits and cannot be trusted to carry delicate items, so Raseleane serves her Lord, when he arrives. _Not that I mind._

Lykouleon smiles at the girl, who nearly faints and then offers Raseleane a single tulip, before settling himself in an armchair, with a sigh.

"Is something the matter, my Lord?" _You look so tired. "The duty of a lady is to ease the burden of her lord."_ She smiles as she places the flower in a vase on her mantelpiece. She then sits on the floor, between her lord's feet and strokes his knee as he answers.  
"The lords of the east demand so much of my time. They want better roads, improved policing and of course, a lower tax burden." He sighs, rubbing his eyes with one of his hands. The other reaches down to caress Raseleane's cheek.   
"The lords are probably just testing you, to see what they can get away with. I've heard that..." Raseleane starts, her heart pounding. _I've studied situations like these with my tutors. I know exactly how to treat these uppity lords._  
Lykouleon dismisses her with a waved hand. "Don't worry about it, Raseleane. I've thrashed this all out with the others. We've got some plan or other to drag them into line." He yawns suddenly and lazily covers his mouth with his hand. Raseleane sits beside him on the arm of his chair and studies his features. His eyes are closing and his clothing is so rumpled, that he no longer looks like the awe-inspiring Dragon Lord, just a tired, attractive, over-worked man. She reaches down and lightly touches his face. His cheek nuzzles her palm sleepily, but when she reaches down to kiss his lips, she realises that he's already gone. She holds him for a moment, then disengages to fetch a maid. The two of them undress Lykouleon and tumble him into bed. He doesn't even stir when Raseleane joins him under the covers. It takes her much longer to drop off.

  
As always, the bed is cold beside her when she wakes._ Does Alfeegi sneak in every morning and spirit him away? The Dragonlord is no different to any other man. He needs sleep!_ She sighs and rises, staring at the empty bed. _How can I conceive a baby, when my lover, _even now, her heart beats a little faster,_ the Dragonlord, my lover, is unable to make love to me?_ She pauses, as a thought strikes her. _Maybe if I talk to Alfeegi..._ She collapses onto the bed, embarrassed even in her private rooms. _Yes, take the Dragonlord away from his important duties, because his wife wants a little affection. I'm sure that there'll be time for ... He's bound to ... Anyway, I can't ask Alfeegi **that!**_ She lies on the bed until the blush lifts and she can pretend that such a selfish thought never occurred to her.

_If mother was here, she'd be rousing me about now. "A Queen cannot be a lay-a-bed. Get up and greet the day!"_ She rolls over on her side and pulls the sheets to cover her. _I could spend the day here and no one would notice. No one would miss me, unless someone notices the empty chair at the dinner table. Still, so few talk to me, it'd be at least dessert before my absence is mentioned. _She perks up a bit. _I wouldn't mind missing the boring conversation if I could still have dessert. "Hello Raseleane, what a pretty dress. I notice that it rained yesterday. Grass is green. Anyway, Dragonlord, do you really think that war will break out if we don't step up patrols to the west?_ A delicate hand brushes hair out of her eyes as she turns onto her back. She sighs, then sits up. _Time to begin the two hour dressing process._

Being the immaculate, queenly type takes far too long. Surely most women wake up, shake their hair and that's enough? Maybe run a brush though to detangle it? Why do I need an hour-long bath? She shakes her head._ This hair's too long. It takes an hour to wash it and an hour to dry it, an hour to straighten it and an hour to curl it. Mother is convinced that a queen has to have long hair, in order to have gravitas. _ She runs a hand through her luscious curls. _Now that she's gone, maybe it's time for a change. Maybe I should cut it and start a new trend for Dragonqueens._ She laughs and pulls herself from her bed. _Maybe tomorrow. For now, I'll just have to get ready for my big entrance. I'll write a synopsis for those who miss it. **Another day like yesterday**, by the DragonQueen of Dusis. _

She stretches, undresses and enters the bathing room. The public baths are made from wood, but here in the castle they're made from cold stone, which freezes her feet but lasts longer. She skitters to the towel pile, grabbing the largest one she can find. Steam rises from the water in the bath, which is just smaller than the public baths. She dips a toe in, scalding her frozen toes, but forces herself in anyway. She submerges herself and floats on the water, tranquil, alone in the giant room. No one knocks on the door. No one disturbs her and she lingers longer than she did yesterday. As she drifts on the water, she closes her eyes and feels the small tides lapping against her skin. _I wonder if one day, I'll fall asleep and slip beneath the water. I wonder how long I'll survive before I drown, or if I'll wake up, as the water enters my lungs. I wonder if anyone'll look for me in here._ She rolls over, the water enveloping her like a gentle lover. _ Mother would just shout at me until I rose again and got on with queening._ She bobs under the water, until it tickles her nose and she rises again._ Whatever that is._

She swims to the side of the bath and grabs the soap, making a lather, working the suds into her hair, then rinsing it clean again. Her body gets an equally vigorous cleansing. When done, Raseleane lies back on the water again, enjoying the heat, but feeling a slight chill. She holds her breath and drops under the water, sinking down until her bottom touches the stone bath. A quick push launches her back to the surface. She climbs out and shivering on the stone floor, dries herself thoroughly. Wrapping herself in a clean towel, she runs back across the floor. _"A queen does not drip on the bath floor, Raseleane. Always dry yourself, so the staff don't have to clean the floor. Be respectful."_

There's a new, regulation, pretty dress waiting for her on the bed. Raseleane stares at it, stunned for a moment. _ I didn't even know they'd come in. Do I not have any choice on the clothes I wear?_ A light knock presages the entrance of her handmaid and Raseleane quickly pastes on a smile and allows herself to be dressed. 

Once dressed and after all her attempts at conversation are turned aside, she dismisses the girl and leaves the room. _ Where to? Where to?_ The castle is pretty much known to her. She's explored practically every area, in various fits of boredom. The hope of finding a cool, secret, forgotten room, filled with ancient magic has long since faded. Dusty rooms are the only treasure and Raseleane, as always, has to have a care for her appearance. Instead of risking the dusty dangers of a long-dead king's bedroom, she heads for the servants quarters, which are usually full of life. There are a few unremarkable areas there, from which she can safely spy. She passes the portrait gallery on the way. Picture after picture of long-dead, long-haired queens smile benignly at her. She snorts at them, before hurrying on. 

On hearing the timid voice of her handmaid she stops. _I nearly didn't recognise her. She sounds confident and content. Not the shy little girl that attends me._ Looking around, she spots an open door and slips into the room behind. _I want to find out more about her. Maybe then, I can draw her out and have a friend._

"What's the queen really like? I can't tell you." Her voice is far more confident than before.  
"Cernozura, tell me. It's not like, some state secret, is it?" This voice is teasing and more than a little cocky.  
"Sharl, it's not like that. She's the queen. She could fire me if I displeased her. I don't want to be thrown out for breaking her favourite cup, or even her least favourite. I've heard stories from the girls who worked for other ladies and I'm going to be careful."  
"Cernozura, you can't trust them. Every time they tell those stories, their ladies get more unreasonable and their own behaviour more saintly." Raseleane peers through the keyhole and spies Sharl, her hands resting on her hips as she laughs at her friend. "Do you really think that they acted any differently to the way they act now? If they're really saints, why don't they attend to the Dragonqueen? I bet they won't be allowed near the baby."  
_The baby? Oh, she means my baby._ Raseleane holds her empty stomach as the conversation continues.  
"That's the strange thing, Sharl." Cernozura shakes her head and grabs Sharl's shoulder. "I've been watching and she's not pregnant yet."  
"What?" she exclaims, her voice echoing down the hall. "But, but they're married. How can she not be pregnant?" She lowers her voice and leans in. "Does he sleep with her?"  
Cernozura coughs and whispers back. "Of course. Not as often as I'd have thought, but he does."  
"Well, he's the Dragonlord," Sharl says, matter-of-factly. "He's busy."  
"I know, but I keep wondering. Why doesn't she use the dragoneyes?"  
"Huh?"  
"Well, they're magic aren't they?" Cernozura questions. "They have great power, right? The Dragonqueen needs to have them, or she's not the Dragonqueen, yeah?" Raseleane presses herself against the door, sacrificing sight for clearer sound. "Why is that? Maybe, in order to get pregnant with the Dragonlord's baby, she needs to use their power."  
"Oooohhhh!" breathes Sharl. "Maybe you're right. Otherwise Alfeegi would be pushing the Dragonlord into our beds, to make a spare heir."  
"What?" she squeaks.  
"Oh come on," Sharl teases. "I wouldn't kick out the Dragonlord. I'd bet he'd make a beautiful baby."  
"Shhhhh!" Cernozura hisses. Raseleane pulls back and watches the two girls again.  
"You would though, wouldn't you?" Sharl asks, unsure.  
"Of course." Cernozura giggles and then presses her hand to her friend's mouth. "Don't tell anyone."  
Sharl giggles and then runs down the corridor. Cernozura gives chase.

_Dragoneyes? Why didn't I think of that? _


	8. Disillusion

You might remember the angst warning that has preceded each chapter. Well, this is what it's there for. I only hope that I get it right, but I've put off finishing it long enough. Here is the final chapter of _A Suitable Bride_. When you've finished reading it, maybe you'll pick up book 2 of _Dragon Knights_ and look at it a different way. Unless you've thought the same as me, all along. 

So thanks to everyone that's read this far. Thanks to Dee-chan, who read it all before the rest of you. Thanks to Morganeth Taren'drel, 2lz2signin, just a reader, Seto-Yugi's Grl, The Crimson Comet, arashi / snakespirit, wingclover, neoscottie, KyouFan17, Ninetales122, Hikari of Darkness and Jadeyuy for all your comments, with special bows to golden-lover90, Jinsei, Sarah, Tigris-Lex, Millenia, mcjewelfiend, DemonandGoddess and Dragon Knight of darkness 01. Constructive comment is most humbly appreciated. Sorry it took this much longer than I'd hoped it would, but finishing was scary. I'm still not sure if I shouldn't go over the whole thing with a fine edit-comb and rewrite it to the same level.

For the final time, _italics_ are her thoughts.

oOo

* * *

oOo

The runners, whose duty is to keep an eye on her, soon discover that her new hideout is the library. She has built herself a comfortable little corner and barely leaves it. The staff soon gets used to her presence, but never ask her to tidy, even though her stack of read and unread books is a constant thorn in the side of the librarian. Book after book, volume after volume, dust-induced coughing fit after dust-induced coughing fit, she reads on. The dry tomes hold all manner of historic data, but none of the ancient dragons seemed to have a writer's touch. The difficult prose is matched by a paucity of relevant information. Every action of the ancient Dragonlords is detailed, a book for each Lord, from birth, first demon-slaying, notable educational achievement, wittiest remarks, to death, as well as marriage to beautiful Lady X of the Dragoneyes, her only entry in the story of his life.

_I wonder if they'll say the same about me? "Lord Lykouleon, noted tiddlywinks player and quietest snorer of the line of Dragonlords, married beautiful Lady Raseleane of the Dragoneyes, who bore him no children." ... Why did I think that? Of course I'll bear him children. That's all I'm here for!_

She throws another book into the useless pile and sighs loudly. The librarian, who's been staring at her, but trying not to, mutters to himself, then walks over to her.

"Lady Raseleane? How goes your research? Have these books been of any help? Can I tidy them away now?" he says quickly, sifting through the volumes and cataloguing them mentally.  
_Given how fast he spoke, I doubt he's looking for an answer to all those questions._  
"I'm trying to find some information on the former Dragonqueens. Do you have any books devoted to them?" she says sweetly. _Hidden out the back, propping open the privy door, or being used as a footstool, perhaps?_  
"We have many books on the Dragonlords," he laughs, picking up several of her books. "The ones you have there are an interesting start, but there..."  
"I'm not looking for information on the Dragonlords," she interrupts quickly. _I don't want any more useless books on them._ "I'm searching for writings of the Dragonqueens. Do you have anything?" She settles herself demurely on the edge of her seat, while the librarian thinks.  
"We've quite a selection of romance novels. They were very popular with several of the Dragonqueens?" he offers timidly.  
"That's not what I'm looking for either. Did they ... Do you have any diaries written by them?" she asks desperately. _That way I could find out if they thought as I do and how they got pregnant and how to use the dragoneyes._  
"Oh no," says the librarian, his recovered treasures now piled up to his nose. "Don't worry about that. Diaries are strictly private and we'd never have access to them. They could be full of embarrassing secrets and so on. We couldn't have anyone finding out that the Dragonqueen hated the King of Arinas, or that he smelled unpleasant, or anything like that. All personal items like diaries are destroyed when their owner dies. Keeping them on hand would be far too dangerous."  
Raseleane's heart sinks into her stomach. "So you've nothing on the queens. Do you have anything about the Dragoneyes?" she asks dully.  
"Ah, you'd know more about them than I would," he answers, placing the books on his desk, before returning to Raseleane. "Dragoneyes are a peculiarity. The only ones who have them are Dragonqueens, like yourself, so no-one's been able to experiment on them."_ What!_ "No autopsies are allowed on heads of state," he sighs sadly. "Then again," he says, perking up and grabbing another handful of books, "since the Dragonlord's poisonous, maybe that's a good thing."  
"Ah, yes," she agrees. "Only I can touch his bo... blood."  
"Sorry I couldn't help." He smiles kindly at her. "A dusty old library's no place for a beautiful young queen. I bet you're secretly glad to be out of here," he says, taking her hand and escorting her to the door. "You should be trying on dresses and holding balls, not wasting away here." As he firmly pushes her out of the library, he says, "If you ever change your mind about the romance novels, I can have them sent up to your room."

Following the fruitless search, she walks back to her rooms, along the Hall of Dragonlords. This cheerless corridor is decorated with paintings of the Dragonlords, staring eternally across the hall at pictures of their brides. Not that anyone looks at them. Each one is dustier than her mate, smaller and less colourfully painted. Raseleane glances at the row of portraits. In each of them, her eyes stare back. She never lingers in this place. Their painted eyes, lifeless mirrors of her own and a reminder of her future, give her shivers. Her own painting and the only record of her that would be kept for posterity, is being commissioned. Lykouleon's has long since been finished and hangs in his study, until the event of his death, whereupon it will be moved here. No fashion touches these portraits. It is as if they were painted at the same time, a few years, yet several lifetimes ago. Each one is identical, except for hair, or minor clothing differences. Maybe there's only one official painter, churning out portrait after portrait of the Dragonlords of Dragoon and still working off his original sketch of the first Dragonlord.

Back in her room, she notices a smouldering chill. _Looks like it'll be a dismal night. _She closes the open windows and bars the shutters. That darkens the room, so she lights a candle and carries it over to her dressing table. She sits on her soft, velvet chair and daintily picks up her hairbrush. Brushing her hair, she glances in the mirror and notices her eyes. Unique in the world, she's often stared at them, proud, confused and sometimes angry. _You've directed my destiny. You've marked me out as the only one able to sleep with the Dragonlord. You've done everything to me._ Her strokes falter, then stop. Moving the candle closer to the mirror, she sits forward too and stares into her eyes. She loses herself in them and attempts to connect with the souls of all those who bore Dragoneyes before her. "Please help me. Please, let me have a baby so that this can be over and Lykouleon can be happy." She waits. Her eyes don't glow. She doesn't feel warm inside. She can't feel new life sprouting in her. Nothing happens. She chokes back a sob and picks up the brush again. _Why can't I figure out how to make you work? Why must I fail here?_

There is a knock on the door and Raseleane lifts herself from her seat with a smile. _Lykouleon! The perfect time. I really need to hold someone just now._ However, the person waiting at the door is not her lover. He doesn't even wait for an invitation, before barging into her room. His nostrils flare and he flicks his hair, before turning tiredly to Raseleane.

"Lady Raseleane," he says, looking down and stroking his forehead. "I have a message from the Dragonlord for you."  
"A message?" she says uncertainly. "Why would he send a message? Why isn't he here himself, Alfeegi?"

A cold feeling emerges from her stomach. Alfeegi was too busy to play messenger boy, in one of Lykouleon's romantic games. He was a terrible actor and he did not look well now.

"Lykouleon isn't here," he finally says, with an annoyed glance. He doesn't look at her and she plays an irritating game, to catch his eyes.  
"Where is he?" she asks, weaving her head to follow his glances.  
Alfeegi sighs heavily. He finally looks her in the eyes and she's shocked at his tired and sad expression. "I'm sorry. I don't want to be the one to have to tell you. Lykouleon, the Dragonlord, is leading an assault on the demon forces. They're weak right now and he thinks that he can deal them a huge blow." He folds his arms and thrums his fingers. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way."  
Raseleane slumps against the wall. "What?" she croaks, her voice betraying the extent of her anxiety.  
"He's taken the major part of the army and several levies and he's gone ... I'm not sure I can tell you of the details."  
Raseleane slides a little down the wall and softly utters, "We were told that it would never happen again."  
"Ah, yes." Alfeegi falls silent for a moment, his composure unsettled, until he stiffens suddenly. "You..."  
"Yes," she interrupts. "Oh yes. How could we have forgotten?"  
"He ... thinks he's doing the right thing," he says, in an attempt to placate her. His hands twitch, unsure whether a comforting touch is a good idea. _Alfeegi, why did it have to be you?_  
"Tetheus?"  
"He's gone, too. The Dragonlord needs him. He's the most experienced general Lykouleon has," Alfeegi answers.  
"So that's what Kai-Stern's been preparing for? Why he's been so busy and hardly around?" Her voice goes more wistful and she starts to wander around her room, touching her familiar items.  
Alfeegi swallows noticeably and follows her, a step behind always. "I know that it's hard when someone you love makes such a huge decision, without telling you, or asking your opinion..." he starts, as Raseleane kneels on her bed and crawls to its base.  
"Love?" she asks, hugging the post of her bed and stroking its cold wood. "How can I love him? Love is a two-way thing. It's a giving of thoughts and a sharing of experiences and ideas." She presses her cheek against the bedpost and looks to Alfeegi. "He doesn't let me share anything of myself. I can tell you exactly what he'd do or say in any situation. He could barely tell you what I'd wear to my own wedding."  
"Er," says Alfeegi, uncomfortable and worried now, about Raseleane. "I'm sure that when he comes back..."  
"Why?" she says, staring at him, coldly. "What'll change?" Alfeegi gapes at her and she continues. "You don't magically become better overnight, or when you hit a certain age. You're not born sensitive, kind, or understanding. Everything you are, is as a response to the things that have happened to you. The hardships you endure make you stronger and the puzzles that you solve make you smarter." She pauses and her back stiffens. "What's happening to me? Am I losing all the strength and wits that I gained? Am I truly worth anything? In a few weeks will they find me incapable of walking or thought, just moving my mouth like a fish, waiting to be fed and blinking occasionally?"  
"That's just ridiculous," he splutters, gesturing and frantically trying to think of a way to calm her down.  
"I AM ridiculous. Look at me! Ignored, beautiful, powerless, a joke!" She crawls off the bed and throws her hands up in the air.  
"You're still the queen," Alfeegi reminds her.  
Raseleane laughs. "Really? Is it worth anything? It's never brought me anything good. No joy, just study. No happiness, just tests. No love, just duty and a husband who doesn't give a damn about me. And all this is just because - and this is the stupid bit - all this is just because I'm the only girl with Dragoneyes. Well, I'll tell you what," she says, walking straight up to Alfeegi, until they touch. Alfeegi flinches as she looks up at him. "I wish that I didn't have these stupid things. My life would be better."

Lost in bitterness, it takes Raseleane a while to notice what Alfeegi already has. The room has grown dark. Lively shadows flick and play, spreading from the space behind her, quenching the light. She can't turn, or move, just stare at Alfeegi's horrified face. A cold ball of ice forms, an inch behind her back. Wisps of frozen steam lick and caress her spine. The shadows congeal and congregate at her feet, where they swarm up her body. They cover her, moving against her body, rustling clothing, touching her. Tiny spidery legs whisper in and out of her hair, across her face, tattooing her pale skin. A dark veil drops over her eyes. Her mouth opens and nothing comes out. A shadowy pair of hands forms from the mess and strokes her hair. She feels their stronger touch pass up her arms, along her shoulders, caress her neck, across her face. Fingers brush her cheek, growing more solid with every passing moment. They flick over her eyes, then stab in deeply. Her body shakes. The scream that keeps building can't escape and Raseleane twists and struggles in the shadows' embrace. She can feel something inside her eyes, scrabbling around, digging, clawing at her. Finally, with a wet, sickly pop, that awful sensation fades, but she can feel a burning light travel down her cheeks. She opens her eyes and can see clearly again. Alfeegi is slumped before her, her body is hidden by shadows and a purple-clad hand is holding something round and sticky before her face: Two light orbs, covered in her own blood, stuck elegantly on two outstretched fingers.

The darkness congeals further behind her and a lump of shadow whispers into her ear.

"Wish. Granted."

oOo

* * *

oOo

Why did I decide to write this story? There's a scene in book 2, where Lykouleon has just rescued Raseleane from Nadil and the two of them are talking. She's just told him that she's barren and can't be his queen anymore. The next thing she says is what drove me to write her story. She said:

"Were you crying, my lord?"

I always read this as being the first time that she realised that Lykouleon cared for her. Why else would she be surprised that her husband was sad, when she'd been kidnapped by his enemy, tortured and rendered barren? Shydeman (or Shyrendora, I'll have to look it up) said "That woman shouldn't have used the dragoneyes" at one point and I wondered what that would have to do with Nadil. This is the conclusion I took. That her attempt to use the eyes, drew him here and angst is the one thing that can give you enough power to make a truly foolish wish.

There you go. Now you have ... a version, of the whole story. It fits my reading of the tale, but feel free to believe that their marriage was blissful and that her capture by Nadil had nothing to do with their good, current relationship. I believe that book two was followed by a good solid talk and Lykouleon involving Raseleane a lot more in his day to day life. After all, "He tells her everything". Now.

This story was edited to death, I finally got a beta reader and I'm just so proud that I can point to something and say, "I finished that!" I originally wasn't sure whether I'd include Lykouleon's battle to save her, but it doesn't fit in here. This is everything.

Now I'm a bit lost. This was the story burning inside me, for the last, dear lord, has it been a year? I don't know if it's successful or not, angst isn't my thing. Still, on the plus side, I turned my beta into a mad DK fan, so I must have done something right. Thanks Dee-Chan.

Since there's no more chapters, if anyone has questions, leave an email address and I'll get onto you. DemonandGoddess, I hope this clears up your misconception.

Oh yeah, the point! Basically, if you leave things as they are, then nothing will change. If you feel ignored in your relationship, then your lover isn't going to suddenly notice and make everything right. You have to act, to speak out. Don't bottle things up. If you can't say that you're unhappy, then you're not in a relationship. Raseleane's in awe of Lykouleon and is obsessed with her duty. She hides behind it, to a certain extent and never engages with the Dragonlord as a full partner in their relationship. She's a doormat, because she doesn't realise that she has the right to speak up. Basically, she's been trained to pander to his whims, but, deep down, that's not enough for her. She feels her wasted potential, grows bitter and well, summons the Demon Lord Nadil.

So if something's bothering you, speak up. You may be mistaken, or not have noticed something vital to your partner. Communication is a wonderful thing.


End file.
